


Antti  quated ?

by baosjk89



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Gen, M/M, Motorsports, Points of View, Relationship(s), Sports
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-05
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-11 07:10:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1170164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baosjk89/pseuds/baosjk89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Antti have just arrived on RedBull team, he does not know why and how.<br/>But what troubles him is where did Heikki go?<br/>Why he left Vettel and a super team behind?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Antti

**Author's Note:**

> For now this will be a one-chapter fic, I will wait to see RBR results in the next test to see if there will be new chapters or not.  
> And this time, almost everything will be seeing on Antti's point of view.  
> This fic is inside the universe of "A matter of Loyalty"  
> Hope everyone likes it... XD

 

Antti was anxious, he didn't know what to do ... ok ... he knows what he had to do professionally, but that is all he knew about.  
He found it really strange and unexpected when they had called him in the middle of the day, telling him that he was going to be Vettel's new trainer ... it clearly wasn't like telling him, it was as more like they ordered him.  
Despite the calm voice, and the memorized lines, Antti could understand very well the meaning of the talk: **_"You're his new trainer, congratulations, deal with it, and we are expecting results in the next week"_**

And after telling them the only possible answer, one firm "Yes, thank you for the opportunity" he just stopped there trying to digest the news.

_"WTF"_  
 _"What about Heikki?"_  
 _"What about Jean?"_

How could they do this to him?  
They didn't even ask if he wanted ... they just said, _**"You're his new trainer."**   _Done.

He discovered later that Jean got the news in the same away he did. They were happy, he even had made an entire work program for him, and now, it's over.  
Antti felt the need to know what hapenned, why was so sudden?  
Something had to have hapenned ... but what it was?

What hapenned to Heikki?  
What hapenned to Vettel?  
What hapenned between them?

It's an important matter, since they let it clear that he didn't had a choice, they could at least informed him about what he is about to face.  
They simple threw him there, without even know how Vettel's workout was.  
He is a professional, how can they expected him to keep everything under control, when he didn't know his client biotype, costumes, and how his body reacted to some diets and exercises..  
What the hell ...

He did what he could with the time he had. He met Vettel, who was cold and distant to him, and didn't appear happy with the situation.  
Then later he met Horner, always diplomatic, always the pacifier.

\- Well, I don't need introductions, you're familiar with the RedBull enviromment.

\- Yes ... but ... I have some ques...

\- Don't worry about Sebastian, he is trying to assimilate some news, soon he will be back to his cheerfull self.

\- It's not that I don't appreciate the opportunity, but where's Heikki?

\- Huovinen decided to not renew his contract.

\- Why?

\- Personal reasons, of which I cant disclose.

\- Okay. I get it. But, how can you expect me to do my job when everything is being thrown at me.

\- I admit the situation is far from ideal. But, it was an unexpected news to us too.

\- Well, I will do my best. But he doesn't trust me, doesn't appear to be open to my kind of training.

\- Sebastian will welcome you with time.

\- I fear that for him I'm not Heikki. He doesn't appear open to this change.

\- But he will swallow it, wanting it or not ... and my boy, listen very carefully to what I'm saying. It's true that you aren't Heikki, but Heikki wasn't Tommi. When Heikki arrived at work, his relationship with Sebastian was a disaster, but with time they formed a fantastic bond. Unfortunately it's over, but I have no doubt that with time, the same will happen to you.

\- Create a bond or getting out?

\- That's upon to you. The Jerez test will happen soon, I want Sebastian with a new workout program ready by then.

\- I will start to work on it, immediately.

\- Good.

When Antti left the room, Horner could only stare ...  
Another one, another Finn ...  
He kind of liked Huovinen, but part of him was glad that those scary eyes and that ninja abilities have dissapeared, those characteristics that made him to be always alert about what he said was over.  
Huovinen and Sebastian conspired together, they were a fearsome duo.  
But now it's over, for better or for worse ... and if it is for worse he would blame Huovinen, the man simply quited ... no answers just a notification ...  
He hates when the things are thrown at him to solve ... So he doesn't feel sorry for the younger Finn, they had thrown him a problem, now he threw the problem to another person, one with more experience in the area.  
Now he just needed to do what he always does, manage ...  
Sit down, wait and see what Antti can do.  
.  
.  
.  
Antti met Vettel again after the lunch.  
During all the time, their conversation was short and direct.  
He asked Vettel to run, to lift some weight, to show him his resistence, and what he was eating, and took anotations of everything, asked for blood samples, urine samples, whatever samples ... and while working he could feel Vettel's eyes on him ... judging him.  
Untill the moment that Vettel spoke...

\- Heikki didn't asked for all of it.

\- I work different from Heikki. His method focuses on strength, making you bigger and heavier muscular, what was good for the rules from the past year. But now, I'm your trainer, and your workout discipline will be different.

\- Just like Vergne...

\- More or less.

\- Vergne is skinny, he does not have bulk.

\- Strength doesn't come only with a heavy pack of abs. I know what I'm doing, trust me.

When Vettel went silent, he had to look at him ...  
Vettel's face was strange, he had a a frown on his forehead. His eyes determined and also angry ... Antti could only think...

_"Did I say something wrong?"_

The fact is that he didn't know, neither he will know, Vettel quickly looked at him, and made his point clear.

\- I don't care what you do, I don't care how you will do it. Just make me physicaly fit to race and physicaly superior to my adversaries.

\- But ... Ok.

Vettel appeared satisfied, and he decided that the driver didn't need to hear that every one is different, and that being fit doesn't mean he will be stronger than his adversaries. Antti had seen some other drivers, the bone structure of some of them certainly means that they are heavy and naturally strong... Bottas is one of those cases.  
Anyway, Bottas isn't his client, Vettel is.

And it is not like he only had seen Vettel angry or uncaring, far for it, he had saw him talking with Horner and with Newey, he appeared at ease when he was close to those two. But he could also see that Helmut had left Vettel behind now, Vettel was big, too big, and he saw that Helmut focus now belonged to Ricciardo.

But everytime Hanna was mentioned Vettel's happiness filled the place...And also it didn't hurt that despite the complains, Vettel followed his program.

The problem was when the Jerez tests begun ... first his car wasn't working, then the car worked but soon stoped, the mechanics were crazy, the nerves were high, data, theories, curses, it was in everywhere he looked.  
All the teams using Renault are suferring from problems, but appeared that RBR was the worst, and being worse than Caterham is not a good sign, the small public cheering at their misfortune made it all worse ... he could see Vettel's face ... it's admirable the way he controlled his emotions, but they were there, not in face, not in the eyes, but in the body...

And later in that same day, for more that he didn't want to intrude in Vettel's problems, he caught a glimpse of a strange meeting between him and Raikkonen.  
He could not listen well to what they're saying, but he could see their bodies talking, Vettel's body was agressive, puffing his chest, arms crossed, chin up, he was trying to be intimidated... Raikkonen was more relaxed, the only sign of him being nervous was the fact that his hands are hidden and that his shoulders are a little high, apart from thaf the man showed more control than Vettel.  
Antti was ready to turn his back and return from where he came, but Raikkonen change of posture made him act, the Finn had taken both hands of his jacket, and made a stop sign with both of them ... and by the looks of it, Vettel isn't going to.

He got close, not because he cared, but because Vettel is his client, his mind and body health his is responsibility, and right now he could see that it was far from ideal.And when he got close ,he got some bits of the conversation.

\- This is bullshit ... did you see what is happening?

\- I saw, but it's too soon to make conclusions, RBR have the personnel and the money to turn the table...

\- You're being far too optmistic! But I can see why, it's good for you that I'm in trouble.

\- Yeah! It's good for me, it's good for everyone ... but you're not in trouble, not yet. Relax...Seb.

\- How can I ? I can look out for you everytime something happens, and Heikki is not here anymore!

\- I'm sorry about that ... but you still have Christian...

\- He is probably more nervous than I am.

\- You have Hanna ...

\- ... She isn't here...

\- There is Lewis...

\- He is one of my opponents!

\- For Odin's beard ... I'm trying to help here! Can you stop objecting at my arguments?

And then he got in the middle of them, literally...

\- Hi Raikkonen!

\- Hi.

\- Huuum, Sebastian, you need to return so I can take my final annotations so I can write a proper diet!

While leaving the place, he could see Vettel's and Raikkonen's eyes meeting, the away looks spoke without a word ... they barely had showed anything in their faces or eyes, but when they did ... that is too much ... and that is a problem he didn't want to be involved ...  
But ... for now ... he did his job for the day ...

But his mind kept him awake at night, with all of the things he witnessed in the RBR enviromment ... he could feel a headache comming, it's a big one and he could only think...

_"I'm SCREWED!"_

****


	2. Lewis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to continue with the fic...  
> But I lost my beta-reader, if someone wants to help me ... please contact. =)  
> Thanks to my fellow beta-reader, loved our time working together.

Lewis has happy and he could see that Nico shared the same feeling.  
And to sum up their happiness, the Mercedes ruled the tests, of course that isn't a reason to feel superior and above everyone's problems, but, he could and will enjoy the moment.

He could see that even Lauda appeared satisfied with what he was seeing.  
And a happy Lauda means a good and happy weekend.

Other reason behind his happiness is his teammate, yes they had their fair share of problems, but, for more than Nico is a tough teammate, he is an easy going guy, who knows how to separate things. And he has a way to see and talk about the world that Lewis find kind of funny.  
He could not hold back the laughter with Nico saying that they look alike when a receptionist mistaked their names, or when he appeared with his new helmet, saying that now nobody could mistake them while in their overhalls, and the way he put his hand in his hip giving his best sassy voice and posture when responding a question from a reporter.

\- Do I look fat to you?

_"Hehehe, right on the balls..."_

Nico was never fat, in fact since he started to really see Nico as a person, not as a car, he saw that the guy was really mature, it's not that he didn't tought it before, but when they are younger were Nico was Keke was there too, so deep down he saw Nico as the papa's boy, spoiled... not that he was any different, but to him, Nico was more, he was, like they say, a prince ...  
And he could see that it wasn't only he that saw Nico this way, and maybe is because of it that the nickname that Jenson given to Nico was so quicky adopted by everyone on the paddock...  
Nico wasn't a prince, he is a princess ...   
And Lewis know first hand to not think less of Nico because of it, the man could be precise, fast, and a little sadistic if provoked.

But Lewis is pridefull of the way they both manage the things, they're competitive, but they also were level headed and both created a good relationship. Nothing better in his opnion than have a healthy competition.  
  
And is thinking about competition that he saw the man that everyone wants to beat, Vettel may have come to Jerez happy, he saw it in the beggining of the day, but now, the guy appeared everything but.

So he decided to talk a little to the man, they are on their break, so he excuse himself from Mercedes motordrome in time to listen to Nico say that he was constipaded and was trying to lower the weight of the car.   
Damn Nico and his venon tongue, that will have payback ... and a good one.

As he got closer he could see Sebastian completely distracted, looking at nowhere, and for more that he wanted to give him a scare ... he simply couldnt ... somewhere his instintics are telling him to not do it ... so normal and boring approach then.

\- Yo Sebastian!

He could see Sebastian turn to look at him, with a face of someone that does not want to talk.  
  
\- Say something Daddy!!  
  
And there is the smile ...  
  
\- Hi Lewis. Didn't bring the kids with you?

\- No. Lauda was clear, no dogs during training ... but I don't like leave my boys alone without their daddy.

\- Sad for you.

\- But tell me more!! It's a girl! Amazing man! For how long are you two planing?

\- We didn't planned, it ... happened ... but still amazing.

\- Ooooh ... but I hate to cut the nice talk, and ask you what I wanted to ask ... what are you thinking of this new regulations?

\- I don't like them... and it does not look good to us.

\- Us? Us drivers?

\- No... us RBR.

\- Well ... I don't think the nose is safe. You know, it not really my conclusion, but the mechanics and the workers are questioning the safety side.

\- No good. If they keep questioning it, FIA will look, and if they find something, they ask the teams to change, and this means more money spent, this goes against their discourse of cost reduction.

\- A loophole.

\- Yeah. So I think that safe or not ... what is, is what will stay being.

\- Hehehe, you're spend much time with Kimi, your english is terrible.

And then Lewis saw, the open face, the smile, everything closed and become deadly serious.  
  
\- No. I havent.  
  
 _"Danger, Danger, Danger!!"_  
Lewis felt like he had stepped in a minefield...   
_... "Crap" ... "Not now" ..._  
 _"Think of something... Think, Think, Think!!!"_  
  
\- Haaaaaahhhh ... your new trainer is handsome!  
  
And now the left eye began to tremble  
  
 _"Shit! It got worse"_  
 _"Nico here are you?!" ... "I will be killed, with no witness"_

\- Errrrmmmm

\- ...

\- eeeeermm

\- ...

\- Aaaaaah, screw it ... why are you so upset? You're changing moods more faster than a woman in her period.

\- ...

\- Don't look at me with that fish face. You know what I mean.

\- Are we in the same place? Did you see the tests?

\- I did, it went pretty well.

\- For you.

\- That is what matters.

\- ... and you ask me why I'm upset...

\- Come on, it just tests, it happens so we can find problems, what is happening is good, you guys find a problem, now is just fix it, better now than late and you know that.

\- Says the guy with the car that isn't having any problem.

\- We still preocupied with the nose.

\- For me they look safe, but still, we don't have the data you guys have.

\- RBR's nose is diferent from Mercedes maybe what the guys have seen wont appear on your car, more probably that the Ferrari suffer from this issue. Speaking of it, seeing Kimi in red bring me back some memories.

\- ...

\- Fast guy, took my championship away. Fernando didn't help me either ... well now Fernando is his problem.

\- ...

\- Dude, you're letting me talk to myself while keeping this poker face?! That's rude! Even Kimi doesn't do it.

\- ...

\- You know only Kimi can do this "I dont give a shit" thing and still being seen as cool and nice... If we do the same, we are assholes.

\- ...

\- You're being an asshole. You know I will talk to a wall, it's more fun, or better I will talk to Kimi, his face is better than yours...

\- Stop saying that name.

\- What name? Kimi?  
  
Lewis can see Sebastian eyes trembling involuntarily ...  
 _"Cool"..._  
 _"Let's try it again."..._  
  
\- It can't be Kimi. Kimi is quiet. Kimi is rude. But Kimi is a nice guy behind all of that Kiminess.   
  
_"I will receive a punch. But it is damn worth." ..._   
  
\- What Kimi did? If you got a problem with Kimi behaviour you better solve it now, because all the new guys are Kimi fanboys ... like mini Kimis ... scary thing!

\- YES! YES! I GOT A PROBLEM WITH RAIKKONEN! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!

\- ... no ...

\- I don't have time for this...

\- Hey... whatever he did, he didn't do it to harm you. He won't do anything to hurt anyone even if it is to help himself. You're stressed, we all get it, who wouldn't be, but you should calm down ... or you will get bald.

\- ...

\- And please don't be mad at me!

\- You're right. I'm stressed ... and I'm not mad at you, neither at Kimi.

\- Ooooh ... so if I keep saying his name your eye won't tremble?  
  
Lewis stood there looking at Sebastian trying to hold his involutary face moviments while trying to hold his smile.  
  
 _"Nico you should be here to see this."_

\- I have no tic, okay.

\- If you say so ... K-I-M...

\- Stop it!

\- Hahahahaha see you later. Bye Sebastian!  
  
Lewis waited till he had walked some steps and was far enough to a strategic retreat to yell ...  
  
\- KIMI!  
  
He immediately run to his motordrome, but still listened to two voices, an angry from Sebastian ...  
  
\- LEEEEEWIS!

And while looking behind he listened to another one, a very confused and boring voice...  
  
\- Yes?  
  
 _"WTF"_  
  
\- FUCK! Where did you came from?

\- Finland.

\- ...

\- ...  
  
The two stayed there looking at eachother, till Lewis couldn't do it anymore. Kimi without sunglasses looking right at him is something really disturbing, he had to look away, he had to say something, he had to get away from that gaze.  
  
\- So...?

\- I ... we ... I ...

\- Need something?

\- No!

\- So why did you call me?

\- I didn't!

\- You did.

\- I was joking with Sebastian.

\- So my name is a joke?

\- NO!

\- So I'm a joke?

\- Nooo... it isn't what it looks like.

\- ...

\- Stop looking at me like that.

\- Like what?

\- Like this, this way you're doing, it's creepy.

\- ...

\- Aaaarhhhmmm ... sorry! Its just a joke!

\- I know. You're having fun with Sebastian's face problems.

\- You know about it?

\- Of course. It's quite funny... Relax Lewis, I'm just having fun with your face too.

\- Thats cruel!

\- I know.  
  
Lewis watched as Kimi keep walking to Ferrari's place, passing by Sebastian, touching his shoulder given to the German a small smile, which Sebastian returned, only to his face, more like his left eye start to tremble moments later.  
  
He decided that he had enough for the day, that he should not keep pushing his luck ... but when returnig to Mercedes he found Nico with a smirk on his face.  
  
\- How cute.

\- You saw it?!

\- I see everything.

\- And you didn't consider of coming and save me from Kimi?

\- No. I was having quite a fun here seeing you embarrass yourself.

\- Nico ... you suck!

\- But you like it!

\- Please dont...

\- You started Lewis, you started.

Lewis when younger had always listened to his mom saying that he should not desire the bad to other people, because it could backfire and happens to you.  
So he didnt desire misfortune to anyone ...  
At least not openly ...  
But he did enjoy himself during his small break while he let some people, namely Vettel, having serious problems with his eye coordination. But it seemed that it had backfire. He didn't remember clearly, he was on the track, everything was fine, and then, the nose was gone and baam he hit the tyre wall, while returning to his motordrome, he was informed that they didn't have spare parts ...

_"How ! "_

But in the corner of his eyes while returning, he could see Sebastian that spend the day sitting on his ass looking at him with the biggest smile of the day ...  
And while he tried to ignore the happiness of his adversarie, he could feel his eye, and it was ... trembling ...

_"Damn nose ... damn karma ... but ... I think I deserve it."_


	3. What?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter with new beta-reader. I'm very happy! Leave kudos, and comments or critics! =)

 

And there he was, alone, waiting for a plane for Bahrain, having refused an invitation, THE invitation, to fly with the "Big Four" to the next test site.

Why?  
Well...

Horner, Vettel, Newey and Helmut in one plane.No, no, no and no. He couldn’t handle it right now, it was too much. Too much tension, too much frustration, too much anxiety and power in one small place, thousands of feet above the ground.

It wasn’t like he didn't like big emotions and high doses of adrenaline, but that flight sounded like a disaster to him, an emotional rollercoaster that he didn't want for himself. Antti wanted to stay away from that as long as he could manage because he knew that eventually there would be no escape, so he decided to enjoy the peace while he could.

But what really brothered him was the situation he was in. He knew it wasn't his fault that Jean had no trainer, but part of him still beat himself up, thinking that he should have been firmer, saying "No I already have a job and a client" ... but then again, it was Red fucking Bull and no professional ever said "NO" to them.

Well, Heikki did, but Antti still didn't know the reason behind it, and maybe it was a good one. Maybe it was personal, or professional, but Antti prayed that it wasn’t because of something within the team. Regardless, the job was a big opportunity no matter the circumstances.

Red Bull, they were everywhere, in every sport, and working with them, even if it was for a short time, was an experience that could open several doors and possibilities, and he was, despite the tension, very happy to get that opportunity. So even if there was a chance to say "no", he probably would never say it .

As for the team ... while he was at Torro Rosso everything was okay, it wasn’t like he wasted his time reading news about the personnel changes of the teams, with the exception of the Raikkonen/Lotus case, but even then, he didn't really care about it. But when he got into Red Bull, what he saw was unexpected, everyone was quiet when one of the Big Four was close, but when they weren’t, the workers gossiped freely, talking about the ones leaving the team, about some guy that knew how some agreements had worked out and that now he had gone to McLaren, he could spill the beans to them, or about another guy who was The Man behind the quick fixes but now he was at Mercedes, and so on... Antti realised that while the main figures maintained the act, maintained the posture of power and superiority, the lower workers were not so confident.

But then again, he was only Vettel's trainer, the technical stuff asn’t his job. Being so, he knew that the invitation to go with them to Bahrein was from Horner, and not from the other guys. He could see that with all the problems inside the team and with Renault, Horner still found time and strength to try and make him part of the group. And Antti would have appreciated it much more if it wasn't so clear that Horner wanted to help Vettel and not him.  
He didn’t mind it, neither was he jealous. Vettel was the number one driver, it was only normal, but one thing he didn't want was to be part of a bigger game to make Vettel win. All he asked was that they let him do his job. He didn’t like to be played with, to be used, to be involved with things that weren’t part of his job description.

He knew that in F1 there were several sides, and being in a bigger team meant even more obscure things, things he didn’t need to know, didn’t want to know or be involved with.

And while lost in his thoughts, he listened to his cellphone ringtone drag him back to reality. He picked up when he saw the familiar number on the screen.

\- Bonjour, mon ami!

\- Bonjour Jean ...I suppose?

\- I'm fine ... thanks for asking!

\- You didn't give me time to ask.

\- It doesn’t matter ... let’s redo this ... Bonjour!

\- ...

\- It’s your turn now ... you can do it! I believe in you!

Antti sighed, knowing that Jean wouldn’t leave him alone if he didn’t indulge him. He could tell Jean was in a talkative mood.

\- Hi, Jean, how are you?

\- Fine, if you don't count the fact that we almost didn't run during the tests.

\- Well ... It could be worse Jean...

\- Yeah, it could be like Red Bull .

\- Yeah.

\- Talking about it. How are things at Red Bull?

\- Well, I can't really say that everything is all right...it's complicated.

\- Tell me more.

\- I can't.

\- Come on... Torro Rosso is a sister team to Red Bull. No secrets!

\- Don't push Jean.

\- Okay okay. But your new driver? How is work with Vettel?

\- Difficult, but we don't really know each other, it will get better with time ... I hope ... And your new teammate?

\- Kvyat? He is fine. Happy and as talkative as a Russian can be. Another Raikkonen fan from what I noticed.

\- More than Ericsson?

\- No, there is no way to be a bigger fan than Ericsson.

Antti smiled to himself, feeling a bit better with the light-hearted conversation, but something still didn’t feel right.

\- So you’re sure you’re fine?

\- Why wouldn’t it be?

\- But you said...

\- Forget what I said.

\- If you say so.

\- What? No fight over my feelings? What I'm feeling? The reason I called?

\- No. It’s you who called anyway and then said it was nothing.

\- The Antti I remember was funnier and more likeable.

\- I'm likeable! It’s just that you aren’t making any sense.

\- I called to... to say... well, be careful, okay?

Now Antti really didn’t have a clue what Jean was babbling about. Careful?

\- With what?

\- Well, I don't want you to become another Huovinen. You know the guy was scary, and, he was becoming too big, if you know what I mean...

\- No, I don't.

\- Mon ami, Huovinen was everywhere, he went where no other trainers went, nobody could stop him, no one dared, he became so untouchable. I even heard from the workers that he was becoming more popular than some drivers.

\- Including Vettel.

\- Exactly.

\- How do you know those things?

\- Because I'm beautiful and friendly.

\- So you are trying to tell me not to become more famous than Vettel?

\- More or less.

\- I doubt I will ever be...

\- ...the same was said of Huovinen.

This whole conversation was getting ridiculous. He was just a trainer, not on a mission to become a superstar or cast a shadow on the golden Red Bull boy.

\- Enough Jean, I get it. I will only do my job, I don't like politics, I don't like getting much attention, I don't pretend to do more than what is on my contract. Don't worry.

\- Je t’ai averti, mon ami.

\- What?

But Jean had already hung up on him, that rude Frenchman, but what was that supposed to mean?  
He didn’t understand what Jean said... Ok...if he stopped to think, Huovinen really was different from all the other trainers: too close, too involved. To him, it could only bring problems. But what Jean implied was that it was the reason behind Heikki’s exit from F1. No way that was true, it was too absurd to be true. And even if it was a fact, he didn’t have to worry; with the way things were with Vettel, the German probably wouldn’t say more than "Good day", "okay", and "Good bye" to him.

If Antti had learned something from his time working with Jean, it was that sometimes he was full of drama. Jean was probably reading more into it than what was really there, so Antti decided to not overthink it. He would only make himself more anxious doing it. It was better to forget, better to forget it all. He was happy, ready to do a great job, and the Red Bull crew was quite fun. He needed to relax, avoid conflicts, do his job, learn everything he could, and simply have a good time at work.

It wasn’t like there was something to be seen or heard inside the Red Bull walls.


	4. My turn

Antti was tired, they had agreed to meet in front of the RedBull motorhome, but he was standing there like an idiot with no sign of Sebastian.   
He understood the frustration, the car was getting better, but it was still awful ... The team said that they had found the problem, they said that they were going in the right direction, but then he also heard some paddock worker talking to his co-worker, saying that things weren’t great between RedBull and Renault. It isn’t my problem, Antti repeated to himself.  
But at the same time, maybe it was, since he worked for them now. And if Sebastian was so distant now, he could only imagine how much more distant he would be if this car became a Titanic, sinking further and further down the grid .  
But his patience had a limit, and Sebastian was taking too long to show up, so who could blame him for looking for the German driver? Staying there was making his mind question things, and he did not need insecurities. He had to find that goddamned driver; they had a schedule to review, and the man could not simply disappear.  
It took a while but he finally recognized Sebastian's voice when he got close to Horner's office.  
Almost immediately, his body turned to the exit, but then, something caught his attention.  
What was happening?  
Antti questioned himself, should he stay and listen, should he go and forget it all? They were not really hiding themselves, anyone could listen, and he was just passing by, wasn’t he?

After pondering a little, he moved closer, he moved closer and tried to listen to the conversation but kept his stance ready to keep walking, his weight on one foot, in case anyone saw him and tried listening to the conversation.  
Eavesdropping wasn’t a hobby of his, neither was it something he normally did, but something was happening, and he was curious.   
It's pretty normal to be curious.  
At the beginning it was difficult to understand the conversation without showing himself, and the difficulty almost made him give up, only to change his mind when he heard Sebastian complain.

\- Did you see it? Now he is Miss Sympathy!

\- Sebastian...

\- No, first he keeps telling me "I don't like politics", "we should not do this, or that". Now he shakes hands with Lord Sidious, takes pictures and smiles to the camera.

Horner could feel the frustration , but maybe bringing Raikkonen into the conversation could help him send Sebastian the right message.

\- First things first, Raikkonen said that he doesn’t like politics, not that he won’t do politics. Second, you should follow his example and start to play nice again.

\- I'm doing my part.

\- No, you’re not, you did your press part, but the workers need you there with them, not sulking in the corner like a spoiled brat.

\- I'm trying ok. It isn't easy, where is my support? Where is Kimi? Where is Heikki?

\- I'm here, and I'm pointing you in the right direction, so stop being angry with them and focus on yourself.

\- ...

\- While you are here, wasting your time and MY time, I can assure you that Raikkonen is with the Ferrari workers, listening to them, and even managing not to look bored.

\- How can I be happy, when things aren’t working?

Christian was a father too, an absent one, just like Sebastian, so he understood the feeling, the need to be close to family but their type of work didn’t allow it, and when he was home, sometimes he could not bear the children’s noise, the wife’s complaints ... he felt bad. And he was sure Sebastian was in this situation too. But everyone has problems, Sebastian wasn’t the only one. He could blame himself, but he could not blame the team that was working so hard.

\- We are making progress.

\- And so are the others, we are behind, making mistakes after mistakes...

\- Everyone is going through the same, you know it, all of this is a big laboratory, and we will only see what we and everyone else can do in Melbourne.

\- You make it look easy.

\- And it is. You did your part, go see Hanna and your baby girl, relax, think about what you can offer for the development, and return in two days.

\- wwh...

\- Return in two days with insights to our car, not complaints , that is why you’re here, to give us information that only a driver can, so we could build a car that can bring you to the victory.

\- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it.

\- So act like it.

When the conversation ended, Antti got himself in position, counted to three and tried to appear as if he was about to knock on the door.  
The door opened right on time, and he got a close look at Sebastian's face, annoyed and for a reason that he now understood.

\- I was looking for you Sebastian.

\- Well, now you found me.

But Sebastian kept walking past him like he was nothing. Antti took a step forward, but before he could go further, a hand on his shoulder made him stop.

\- You are not as discreet as you think you are, Antti.

\- I don't know what you're talking about.

\- You do, and while I don't mind that you're listening to our conversation, Seb won’t be happy about it.

\- It's his fault. If he was where he was supposed to be I wouldn't have come here looking for him. And if he was quieter, I wouldn't have listened.

And there was a smile on Horner's face that he couldn't understand. The man should be angry that he was eavesdropping, even angrier that he was talking back like that.

\- Well, you're right. So go there and put him on the right track.

\- No offence, but it isn't my ...

\- Your job is to do what I tell you to.

WTF?  
He had no answer to that, simply because he never expected to hear it from someone like Horner.  
He just stayed there, eyes wide open, pathetically unresponsive.

But to Horner it must have been enough, since he waved with his head, returned to the office and closed the door on his face.

Antti didn't feel like he was disrespected, he felt ... surprised.  
Had Heikki gone through this?

\- Antti! I don't have all day.

And like that the surprise was gone, the strange feeling had no place, and he put everything at the back of his mind.  
He took a deep breath, and kept telling himself "Focus Antti, Focus!"  
He was doing his final annotations, he was happy with his plan , and was sure that he found the right routine for Sebastian. But something was still off. He was doing everything right, so why was there no results? Of course they had been working together for just a month, but still, maybe if they tried to upgrade their conversation skills he could find the reason behind it.

Or maybe he was terribly wrong, but he felt that he needed to start now, right after Sebastian finished talking on the phone with who he believed to be Raikkonen.

\- You shouldn't let him affect you so much.

The look on Sebastian’s face would have made a lesser man shut up, but Antti was determined.

\- You're being careless. The people underestimate the power of silence and apathy. While you're full of frustration and anger he is still looking and acting all sunshine and rainbows. He will end you before you even get on the track.

\- This is you trying to make me feel better? Thank God you aren’t a psychologist, Antti.

\- Cynicism won’t help you either.

\- How can you tell? You don't know me. You don't know Kimi. In fact you know less than nothing, all you did was work for a second class driver in a lower team.

Antti could feel Sebastian's venom, and he really felt sorry for those who had been, and continued to be, the German's target.  
But he wasn't a threat, he wasn't supposed to be a target.

\- You're right. I don’t know anything but I'm trying to.

\- And failing miserably.

\- When I looked at you from the outside, you appeared untouchable, unshaken ... it’s disappointing to see you now.

\- What?! How dare you!

He could see Sebastian become angrier and angrier. He could feel that there was something he didn’t get, something he didn’t know.

\- How could Heikki and Kimi have been so submissive to your needs? Maybe that was the problem. They got tired of you and of your demands. It's no wonder they abandoned you.

\- Don't you dare to talk bad about them.

That was something he wasn’t expecting.   
He thought that Sebastian was angry with them, and maybe he was, but at the same time he was defending them?

\- They abandoned you, and I can cleary see why. You're spoiled, they probably couldn't keep up with your shit and with the way you keep thinking you're better than everyone else ...

\- They care about me!

\- ... with the way you step over people, maybe you...

\- SHUT THE FUCK UP

\- ...

\- You know nothing! I won't let you talk shit about me or them. You should mind your own business and do your job.

\- My job is your wellbeing. And for some unknown reason, the moment you step here it starts to deteriorate. I'm only trying to do my job, but you won't let me.

\- And since when is talking to me is your job, Aaaantti?

\- Since the moment I fix you a diet, a workout program, and every single day you appear here with tired eyes, tense shoulders, and stressed behavior...

Antti stopped talking, expecting Sebastian to interrupt him, and when that didn't happen he almost forgot what he was saying .

\- You are throwing my job away, all my time, all the energy I spend to make you physically better is being destroyed by you.

\- I ... you don't care about what is happening?

\- I don't give shit if you're a son of a bitch or that your friends leave you to play alone. You are screwing with my job!

\- I ...I ... I'm sorry Antti. I didn't look at it from your side.

\- Clearly.

And Sebastian stayed quiet, for the first time the German didn't say a thing. Antti was sure that such opportunity wouldn’t present itself again.  
He had to make it worth it.

\- Sebastian. I don't know you well enough to not like you. In fact I respect what you achieved, and even though I don't know all the reasons behind your frustration, I know and you know too, that everyone is anxious, nervous.

\- ...

\- We all have something to prove. We are all going through changes bigger than we expected. But everyone here is holding their shit together. You're the only one letting it show. And I can see that Horner is worried that you will let it show to the public.

\- And you are saying it because you care?

\- Yes, I care. Not about you, but about my job.

\- You're the worst trainer I have ever met. But you're right.

\- Good. See you tomorrow at 06:00 am.

\- What?

\- Don't make me go look for you.

Antti felt that Sebastian didn't get it all. But with time, he knew the German would understand that it was his job to care about him. He was going to do his best, go to his limit, do his best to be friendly, and would even play Horner's game, if it meant better results for Sebastian.  
He felt that his time in the RedBull team would be short, given his predecessors, but like them, he wanted to know what was being discussed in the corridors, he wanted to see, to hear, to know, to be part of it all.  
Part of it was pride, part of it curiosity. If Tommi and Heikki became so important, he could be too. And since his time probably wouldn’t be long, he was going to do what he could to find what they had found, though something was telling him that Sebastian and Horner were at the center of it.

%MCEPASTEBIN%


	5. Dani

Test after test and the progress wasn’t exciting, but at least now they could get the car to make some laps, but it was still disappointing.

Daniel didn’t want to complain about the team, he just arrived there and he could see how everyone was really giving everything to make the car work. He could see Vettel there, all day, only observing the progress, together with the team, a true leader.   
So he decided not to complain and not to see only the bad side, but at the end of each test, every time the press got a chance, they asked strange questions full of double meanings and after a frustrating day he found himself having to pay attention to the details of each question so he wouldn’t say something wrong.

In moments like that he missed his recent past. If he was still at Toro Rosso he could have said a bad thing or two, but now, he couldn’t risk it. Every word he said was written in a different light that made it appear as if he wasn’t happy.   
Sometimes even his silence was considered a negative thing.  
The fact was that he wasn’t fully satisfied, but nobody outside the team needed to know. He felt that if the situation was different he would be more at ease with his opinions.  
But it appeared that he arrived at a bad time, RedBull was unbeatable until then, and now they were barely keeping up with the other teams, the new rules hurt them and were responsible for that change not only in himself but in the team as well.   
They had been shaken.

The worse was seeing it in person, the first time things didn’t happen the way they wanted, everyone was surprised, but it was part of the game. The second time everyone was worried, and the third time they were looking for someone to blame.

Then came Bahrain and to him it was finally looking up, but Horner wanted reassurance from Renault and even called a meeting. He was left out of the discussion and all they said to him was that he didn’t need to worry about it, that it was a technical thing.

But as a driver wasn’t it his job to give them feedback that could help with the technical part?

Shouldn’t he know about it too?

The only thing that let him be at peace was that Sebastian was also left out of the conversation, so it wasn’t personal.   
But Sebastian didn’t look happy about it, and the German was getting angrier and angrier as the days passed, unless Dan was getting paranoid and seeing things that didn’t exist.  
It was the only explanation.  
And if it was only a figment of his imagination, when did it start?

Maybe it was the jitters of a new beginning. Or maybe everything that he heard from others now was replaying in his head.  
Maybe it was the workers’ gossip, or Jean’s comments, or even Mark.

Yes, it was definitely Mark that started it all. He didn’t blame the man, Mark only wanted his best, wanted to prepare him.  
But he could remember quite well when Mark came to talk to him.

\- Congratulations man!

\- Thanks Mark! I'm super anxious. For a moment I really thought that the seat wouldn’t be mine.

\- Well I couldn’t say anything but it was yours. A tough fight, but despite Jev being good, he’s not good enough, and Raikkonen ... well ... that is another problem.

\- What problem?  
Mark's face became strange, it reminded Dan of Mark’s expression during the infamous multi 21 incident.

\- Raikkonen was Seb and Christian’s choice but Marko wanted you. It was a power dispute, Marko came up with the best argument and won. Now you're here. End of the history.

\- Oh.

\- So, take care, and don't be fooled by Seb's nice persona, you being here is a proof that he lost to Marko and he hates to lose .

\- Well I’ll give him my best.

\- That’s what I wanted to hear from you.

Dan listened to everything that Mark had to say, since the man was the oldest one on the grid, with great experience, and had been through several changes during his time in F1. Not only that, but Mark also raced with and against his future teammate.  
He didn’t particularly see the reason to be so aware of Seb, of course the German was the reigning world champion and was with no doubt a great driver, but Mark painted Seb as a snake.  
As far as Dan was concerned, Mark's description didn’t fit the person.

At least not in the beginning.

Sebastian was friendly with him, spent an entire day showing him around, talking about how nice, amazing and fantastic working with RedBull was, that he was expecting a big challenge from him.

He was’t naïve, he knew that Sebastian was a good actor and knew that it was better to have a good relationship with his teammate, but he still felt a warmth in his chest when Sebastian took an entire day just to welcome him in the team.   
So Dan didn’t care if it was planned or spontaneous, he was happy. His mother, his close friends, everyone that reallyknew him kept telling him that he was a happy, cheerful and optimistic person. Too much some times, and he could feel that they were worried about his future in Formula 1. They all said to him not to lose this side of him.

And he promised himself that he would stay that way forever.

But, when you haven’t reached 30, forever never lasts long.

It wasn’t like he changed, but in the beginning, he had to admit he was looking for conspiracies evrywhere he looked, and that simply wasn’t him.

Some of the conspiracies were because of what Mark named "The Finn thing" or "The Finn problem", the famous relationship thing between Sebastian and the Finns. And Dan was sure that everything started probably even earlier than he noticed.

First of all was Heikki, during Dan’s first visit to RedBull, just after he knew that he was going to be their driver. The Finn had an imposing stance and a scary pair of blue eyes to match.

He really didn’t get what the women saw in him.

Anyway, the man didn't have an inviting face, but they eventually got to talking, since the Finn was everywhere.   
Part of Dan found it extremely cool, first Heikki wasn’t there, then you blinked and voilà there he was, looking right at you with knowing eyes, and seconds later Sebastian appeared, the two got close, spoke in Finnish and left.

It was a good choice of language, who knew Finnish apart from the Finns and Sebastian?  
He remembered it clearly, it was during his seat fitting, by the end of the last season that he talked to Heikki in one rare moment when he found the Finn without Sebastian.

\- Hi!

\- Hello.

Heikki’s expression didn’t change, neutral as always. He looked at him more from obligation than anything else.

\- You're big.

\- Thanks? I guess.

“You’re big? What are you thinking?! That is no way to start a conversation” Dan thought to himself.

\- Errmh … sorry. I ... well ... just a little nervous, driving here with the four time world champion, it’s everybody’s dream!

\- Not everybody.

\- What? Why?

\- Ask the other champions. Anyway your enthusiasm is normal and expected.

\- I know, but I should have acted more professional… but … who cares! Are you excited for the next year? You know? Everything new!

\- Sure.

The cold look and the extreme seriousness on Heikki’s face didn’t fade, even after Dan did everything he could to send a good vibe to the man.

\- Well, you can keep looking serious and detached, but I have seen you and Seb, you have a big heart! I know it, I can see it, Jev always said that I have this useless ability, but I can feel we’ll get along.

And there was the smile he saw directed to Seb so many times during the season. The one everyone saw, but nobody mentioned.

\- I'm sorry to say it. But you're wrong. We won’t get along.

And like that Heikki walked away, and never came back.

Nobody knew the reasons, and those who knew did not tell.

He was left in the darkness, and soon discovered that he should not touch on the Heikki subject. Christian didn’t appreciate hearing the Finn’s name, and Sebastian, he appeared sad but kind of ok with the situation. Dan found it strange, but he didn’t really know what happened and he felt like he wasn’t supposed to know.

The other conspiracy he tried to look into in the small amount of free time he had was Raikkonen.

Who in motorsports didn’t know the man, one of the most popular drivers, second oldest on the grid, not a RedBull worker but had his name on the corridors, on people’s lips. Not only in RedBull, but everywhere he went.

The no-bullshit driver.

The Iceman.

The one that could do whatever he wanted with no repercussion.

Some didn’t like his attitude but everyone admired at least something about the man that was going to take the Red Bull seat from him. But in the end it didn't happened and Dan was glad for it, he liked to think that he had won against the Finn, him, who was just a younger driver, took the seat from a superstar like the Iceman.   
But then Mark came and threw his enthusiasm to the wayside, saying that it was an internal fight over who would get the seat.  
He remembered that, some media questioning the efficiency and need of the RedBull Younger Drivers program, questioning the need of such a thing if in the end they would hire Raikkonen.

But the truth was that he was so anxious about the possibilities that he simply didn’t pay much attention to it. And now, who cared? He got the seat, and got it by merit, he would show how good he was on the track, and if a political decision had been the reason behind him getting the seat, they still had two drivers to pick from and they had chosen him, so be it.

But he was still not blaming Mark for trying to show him the cruel reality, he just found himself a little offended that the older man thought that he didn't know about it.  
He wasn’t a child.   
But it wasn't the only thing that Mark said to him, he also warned him of Raikkonen, for a reason he didn't know, didn't get and didn't see.

"He won’t prejudice you but he does not care about you either. The important is to always remember that after himself there is just one person here that he would do anything for and that person is Seb. Play fair and he won’t bother you, do something he may judge unfair to the golden boy and you will have him after you."

But to him Raikkonen didn’t appear to be a dangerous guy.   
And that was what he thought until the Lotus thing started, the Finn did everything he wanted, and left looking like the solitary hero, wronged, that did everything for the love of the sport.  
He didn’t doubt it, but Raikkonen, even if he did it with the best of intentions and only wanted what was right, still left destruction behind him.  
But unlike Mark, Dan didn’t see a reason to worry about Raikkonen

He didn’t know the man, and the man didn’t know him.

Since when did Raikkonen have something to do with RedBull decisions?  
The only thing that he and everybody else knew was that Sebastian and Kimi were close, the closest thing to true friendship in the entire grid.   
But he didn’t see how one decision could interfere with the other, and he didn’t see how Raikkonen could have any kind of power within the team. But Mark was so clear and incisive in his affirmation that now he found himself trying to see where Raikkonen’s influence was.

"He does not have the power of voice here. His opinions don’t matter to Marko, Newey or Matechetiz. But he knows Seb better than anyone. So his opinion is important to Seb and consequently to Christian. That is influence."

But as the year began he practically didn't see the Iceman.

With everyone worried about their own cars, it didn't come as a surprise.   
In fact all he had to go on was the opinion of everyone else, he himself didn’t feel anything wrong.   
No power play or favoritism like Mark warned him about.   
No Raikkonen shadows on the corridors, no Heikki the physical manifestation of Sebastian's eyes and ears.

Everything was normal, so normal it was almost disappointing.  
So this was a big team.   
This was how it worked?  
Just the same as a lower one?

The same problems, the same fun, the same stress over the time and money. He was happy because it was like before, but he was expecting something more.

The only thing that really left him feeling anxious was the fact he was the newbie, and even so, he wasn’t alone, Heikki's substitute, Antti, was here too.

But Antti was no new face to him, he knew the Finn, former trainer of his former teammate.  
Antti was the opposite of the other Finns he had met, with the exception of Kovalainen. Antti was a smiley and funny guy even with the ones he didn’t really know. An open person, happy with life.

So when they finally met again he was more than happy, they didn't work together, but they came from the same place. Facing the adaptation problems, the change from a medium to a bigger team, he had someone he could talk about those things.

\- Hi Antti!

The Finn had a frown on his face, angry with some notes in his hands, and kept looking at the clock minute after minute, only sparing him a second to look, a small smile and a curt answer:

\- Hi.

\- How are the things?

\- Pretty normal, like looking after a kid.

\- Kid?

The same distant and cold look, not directed at him but at the closest wall, he could see Antti sigh and turn towards him trying to look sympathetic.

\- Nevermind. I'm sorry for my lack of time but I have to find Sebastian. We will talk later, I promise.

Antti didn’t even give him time to answer. And just like Heikki he walk away, but Dan considered himself an optimist guy so he knew that the Antti he knew would return.

At least, he really hoped so.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! \0/  
> Hope you guys like it.

 

Antti was working on his relationship with Seb, and he found himself happy with the results so far.  
Of course they were far far away from being best friends, but now Seb arrived on time for training , he listened to Antti’s tips and didn't make him wait.

To Antti, it was amazing progress.

But he still had a lingering problem with Seb, and Antti considered that problem one of the most annoying ones. Seb sometimes didn’t even realize that he was there with him.  
Antti was no fool, of course it wasn't on purpose. He was new in RedBull but he wasn't new to F1, he saw how Seb sometimes forgot the others too, but also noticed that such thing was more common in two occasions.

When Seb won something, anything at all, and when Kimi was close.

And it brought Antti back to where he was, with his doubts and insecurities because Seb forgot about him even when neither of those situations was present.  
But he felt that now it could change, he was working on it, he didn’t need to but he felt he should. Antti wanted to be as important as his predecessors. Call it pride, call it professional objective, he would achieve it no matter what.

And Antti thought that the Australian GP would be his best chance. He had to admit that he was feeling better, he was present, was together with the team, being part of the conversation independently of Seb.  
Antti had even dreamed of a glory weekend, with Seb doing well, being happier and relaxed after seeing that his concerns and fears, while not unnecessary, were less terrible than Seb imagined.

So maybe it happened in a parallel universe, Antti thought, because that wasn’t what happened in reality.

On Friday things were good, Antti didn't say anything but he was happy and excited. They were showing to everyone that they could and had fixed their car, that they were the bests.  
To Antti that was a new sensation. So this was what it was like this to be in a top team?

But then came Saturday, of course they had a good result, but not Seb, Antti saw how the German was upset, at least with his results. Antti on the other hand continued to believe, despite the problems, that Seb clearly had a better car,that was evident and they still had Sunday. What Antti didn’t expect was that they would see it all end after just some laps.   
Antti had seen and heard the booing when he was at Toro Rosso, but he never saw the effect of it on Seb. Now it was different, he was Seb's trainer, he saw it very closely, how Seb maintained his composure, like he was above all of it, but he could see that the German was upset.

What he didn't know at that time was that it would only get worse.  
Seb was frustrated by his position on the grid, and then later he had to retire from the race.  
  
Antti had to admit that right after the retirement he thought Seb wouldn't stay but to his surprise Seb returned and stayed with the crew, helping them.   
To him, Seb appeared normal, he wasn’t close but he could see when it all ended, with Ricciardo in a comfortable second place, Antti could see the smile on Seb's face and the fury in Seb's eyes. And the day got even worse, which Antti couldn’t quite believe.  
He followed Seb because he didn't really know what to do, it was too soon to talk about training, Antti could feel it, but they needed to talk, they needed to create some kind of link.

But to Antti it was suffocating the amount of people that gathered together to speak to Seb, it was so many, that he felt a little scared, and even thanked God for how fast Seb got through it.  
And it was then that he listened to Seb vent about his day.

\- If they think I will show my frustration, they're fools. I firmly believe that the situation can and will be reverted.

Antti could understand Seb's sudden need to talk, but decided to stay quiet. Some strange feeling made him think that he wasn't supposed to listen.

\- What I wouldn’t give to crush them. Those so called specialists trying to psychoanalyze me. Even worse, those old drivers, some that don’t have even a title in their career, giving their opinion about my car, my team, about me.

During the two months they had known each other, Antti had never seen Seb talk so openly. At least not to him. But right now, the German driver simply didn’t stop.

\- If they think they could unsettle me, they're wrong, very wrong ... I’m the reigning world champion, and I will be world champion again. They can criticize me, boo me, I'll get on that podium and rub it in their faces ... We will fix it, I will fix it, I don’t care if I have to spend a week without sleep, I will spend all the time necessary with the mechanics…

Seb continued to talk even with Antti walking close by, at first Antti has kind of happy, Seb was talking to him about things that bothered him, but then Antti realized that he simply didn't exist in the moment, Seb was in another world, one where only Seb alone existed.

\- They shouldn't judge me … It's too early, nobody is sure of the cars or the rules. I had hoped that today I would shut their mouths … Aaaah. In times like these I really wanted to answer them like Kimi does ... it’s all just bullshit...

Seb's long silence left Antti anxious, was the German waiting for him to agree?

\- Yeah...

Seb suddenly stopped talking and Antti felt that he shouldn’t have said anything, he tried to think about something to say, to warn Seb that he was there all along and that he thought Seb was talking to him, only to see Seb’s eyes leave him and his face relax.

Antti followed Seb’s eyes and found Kimi resting on the wall, his arms crossed waiting for someone, or at least it looked like it. What he didn't notice was that this someone was Seb, in fact he only realized it when Seb passed him and threw his water bottle at him.  
Seb went to Kimi and seemed to simply not care about anything and anyone else. But what Antti could see was that while Seb may not mind, Kimi did, and so much that he stopped Seb before he could hug him.  
From afar Kimi looked at him before talking to Seb, and though he couldn’t hear from where he was, he could imagine very well what his fellow Finn was saying to Seb.

The younger man was distracted, he simply ignored everything else, and it clearly bothered Kimi. They continued to talk, getting closer and closer to each other and Antti’s need to turn around and leave was getting bigger and bigger.

But before Antti could act Kimi turned his head in his direction, giving him a sorry attempt of a smile, and with his head called him to come closer, but Antti was quite comfortable where he was, he didn't wanted to get close to the man, not alone, even less with Seb nearby.  
But Kimi's face showed that Antti's hesitation was annoying him. So Antti felt obligated to comply, slowly walking in Kimi's direction, only to feel a little relaxed when Seb started to walk away.

\- So, it's Antti, isn’t it?

\- Yes. It's a pleasure to meet you Raikkonen.

\- Bullshit. I could see from here that you didn't want to get close to me, even less meet me or talk to me.

\- So … why did you call me here?

\- You're Seb's trainer.

What kind of reason was that?

\- So?

\- So. So ...this is it. You're his trainer.

\- I still don't get it.

\- I knew Tommi, I knew Heikki, but I don't know you.

\- Eeerrm ... so what do you want to know about me, Kimi?

\- It's not what I want; it's more like a warning.

What warning? The man didn't want to know him? Antti couldn't understand, was this a threat? A statement?

\- I'm still in the dark. Can you be more clear ? Or is that impossible for you?

\- I'm perfectly capable of being clear and direct. I was just trying to be nice.

\- Sorry to shatter your illusion, but this is far from nice.

Kimi's disinterested face was starting to annoy Antti. Didn’t Kimi have any another expressions? Angry, happy, thoughtful? Anything to stop looking at him like he was an inanimate object with no intelligence!

\- Well, I'll be more direct...  
\- Finally...

\- I know everything.

WTF?  
That was supposed to be clear and direct? Antti still didn't understand anything at all.   
The only thing that Antti had were questions as to how Seb put up with Kimi. For a small moment he felt guilty for having told Seb that Heikki and Kimi had abandoned him, it was clearly not the case. He was actually surprised that Seb seemed so happy to see such a taciturn man.

\- Okay ... I'm tired of your shit, I have other things to do. So goodbye.

Antti started walking only to stop, look at Kimi and add  
\- … and it wasn’t nice to meet you, Kimi.

He only gave two or three steps before Kimi spoke again.

\- If you make a difference I'll know, if you screw up ... I'll know too.

Well if Kimi wanted to continue, so be it, Antti decided to shoot back, since it appeared to be connected with the fact he was Seb's trainer.

\- So you knew about Heikki leaving?

\- No, I didn't. And it's something I won't do again ... I got my eyes on you.

\- I won't leave, unless Seb fires me.

\- That’s what Heikki said... So I'll say only once ... Don't get close to him, don't be friends with him, don't dare to make him emotionally attached to you.

Now it was enough. Antti decided that he had to be careful with Seb since Seb was his boss but Kimi wasn't his boss, didn’t paid his salary, so he wouldn’t stay quiet listening to Kimi speak to him like that because of a man he didn't even know.

\- I only do my job. And I don't care if you're a world champion, national hero, or only an asshole, I'll keep doing my job, it's Seb that will decide the level of our relationship.

The look on Kimi's face made Antti fear for his job.   
A good job, a great experience. It was short but it was good. And even if he lost it, he was only doing what he thought was right.

\- Humpf ... mmmmmmmmm ... I see how close and smiley you're with Jean-Eric ... mmmmm ... won't let it happen again.

Whaaaat?  
But before Antti could think of something, or ask something, Seb returned.

What really caught Antti's attention was how happy Seb was, he appeared more relaxed.

God knows how he tried to make the German relaxed and even after some months Antti still found himself working on Seb's inability to notice that he was there too.

\- Christian asked for you to see him, Kimi. He said that you visited and talked to everybody, even Permane, and didn't stop to say hello to him.

\- My bad ... I will talk to him or at least try, the man is always busy.

\- So are we. Well I ...

Antti should be offended to be completely ignored, but it was interesting to see the interaction and the change of behavior, Seb happy and Kimi with expressions, good ones he might add.   
He almost forgot that he was having a heated discussion with Kimi just moments ago.

\- ... have to go, doesn’t Seb?

\- ... Yeah! I have, I'll see you ... in the next GP. Bye Kimi.

\- Bye Seb.

Seb started to walk again, without even bothering to call him or warn him.   
But Antti stopped a minute just to look at Kimi, maybe Seb didn’t acknowledged him sometimes, but Kimi was aware, he stopped Seb from saying more, he deliberately ended the conversation.

\- You didn't let him finish.

\- Bye to you too, Antti.

And Kimi left Antti there.   
Antti Could only think "what a rude man ", but at the same time he had seen Kimi with other people, and even with the ones that he clearly had some misunderstanding with, he was nice, he smiled, talked, it could be a short conversation, but he was polite .

But Kimi decided to treat him like that, being rude and a complete asshole .

Antti started to walk to where Seb had gone, still thinking maybe he shouldn’t completely forget Heikki’s case since he was now sure that Kimi’s behavior towards him had something to do with Seb’s previous trainer.  
Whatever Heikki did or was, it may not have upset Seb, but it had clearly bothered Kimi.

When Antti finally got close to Seb, he saw three reporters walking away while Seb stayed there with an angry frown.  
Antti felt kind of upset too, Seb had been happy again, glad despite the results. And because of something he did not hear, the German was angry once more.  
He got close, stopped by Seb’s side and waited. Seb’s expressions slowly changed to a calmer one, apparently Seb had others things on his mind .  
What Antti didn't expect was that Seb would share it with him.

\- You know Kimi advised me to not get too close to you, but I can’t simply cut you out, I know I have to give you a chance just like I gave him a chance. In the beginning I didn't understand Heikki, he didn't do what I expected him to do, but Kimi told me to try ... Well Kimi didn't exactly tell me that, he mumbled and gave me a stare but over time I learned what he was trying to say.

To Antti it looked all too personal and too sudden, but Seb was saying it conscious that he was there on his side. Or at least it was what he wanted to believe.

\- I remember the first time we met. He gave me quite a scare, coming from out of nowhere, ex-hockey player, with a crazy routine, I really thought he would kill me in the first week .

\- ...

\- But I had Kimi with me, telling me that I was acting like a crybaby, or something like that, sometimes I still don’t understand what he says, but I know he does it on purpose.

\- Well even in Finland sometimes we don't understand what he says ...

That's when Seb looked at him with an angry face, apparently he shouldn't have interrupted Seb's thoughtful moment.

\- Anyway later I got what Kimi said and what Heikki meant and I did everything and some more to prove them right, even if it was against them. I knew they wouldn't accept less. And now I have to do the same. Kimi didn't ask me too, but it's because he knows that it won’t be necessary.

\- …

\- And please don’t be offended, Kimi may be rude sometimes, and not always give me the best advices, but he does it wanting my best. So I only want you to know what giving you a chance means to me.

For the first time in two months Seb decided to speak with him.   
So of course he was excited despite the tone of the conversation, but at the same time Antti felt relieved that Seb’s shutting him off wasn’t all Seb’s doing. The German had his reasons but he was also listening to someone he apparently trusted. Antti was waiting for more, only to be disappointed by Seb’s sudden inability to form a sentence.

\- I ... well ... I ... forget it.

How could Seb say something to the Finn? How could he trust him?  
They were working together for so little time, he wanted to believe that Antti was trustworthy ... but what if he wasn’t? And if he said something wrong, he wouldn’t hurt just himself, Christian would be mad and Kimi would feel betrayed. Seb suddenly had so many things on his mind that he didn’t notice that he was quietly looking at nothing, it was Antti who brought him back to reality

\- Are you going to say something or you will just stay staring at me like a fish?

\- Hey! You can't talk to other people like that! It's rude!

\- I thought you like it rough.

What was that supposed to mean? He liked it rough? There was a line that Antti should not cross, did the man even notice it?

\- Errhmm...

By Seb's expression Antti could feel that he said something wrong.  
But what?  
Ooooh shit...

\- Oh! Sorry, that's not what I mean. In my head it sounded ok, I didn't mean to imply...

\- It's okay Antti. I understand ... I'm friends with Kimi remember? He has an incredible difficulty with English and has a dialect of his own.

Antti was surprised to see such fondness in Seb's face again. During his small time working with the RedBull team he had seen Seb happy, angry, frustrated and most of times just focused.  
But he had never seen such admiration and love in Seb's face. Antti could see that Kimi was important to Seb, a little too important for a driver from an adversary team.

\- ... after all those years I know his English is okay, he just doesn't want to be understood, so I learned to grasp the beginning and the end of his quotes and deduce the rest.

Seb could feel his cheeks burning as he looked at Antti, who was looking at him with a curious face and a knowing smirk.  
He didn't notice that he was blabbing, worst of it, he was babbling about Kimi, again!

\- Cute.

\- What?!

\- You're blushing.

\- I'm not blushing. It's hot and it's ... my charm okay. You’re staring at me so intensely that you can only have liked it.

\- Relax Seb, your secret is safe with me.

\- What secret?

\- Secret? I don't know what you're talking about Seb.

While Antti turned his back to him and continued walking forward, Seb could only think that maybe, and that was a big maybe, the man was trustworthy.  
Of course he couldn’t really open himself, no way he would do that so soon. But he felt that the little he let slip was safe.   
Seb felt himself lighter, he wanted to talk, but he couldn't bother Christian with such trivial things, and Hanna, he had so little time together with her that all he did was listen to her.  
It was good, so good to talk. Seb knew that now he could talk with Antti, not about everything but at least about some things, so he would give Antti a chance, call it a leap of faith or whatever, but Seb also knew that he couldn’t let himself get attached despite the fact that he needed someone else to talk to, someone that wasn’t Christian or Kimi. That brief moment was so liberating, so good, but while part of him wanted more of that, the other, hardened by time and life, kept reminding him that he couldn’t let his guard down .   
It had to end. It had to end now before he got used to Antti.

\- Hey! Are you alright?

\- What?!

\- Seb, if you keep turn off like that I will report it to Christian. It's dangerous to drive like this.

\- It's nothing. I was just thinking.

\- About what?

\- Nothing important. Let's go. I don't have all day, the sooner we finish the better.

Despite the end of their conversation not being too happy, Antti felt that Seb had opened up to him.   
Antti was happy with it, the German appeared so normal when he let his walls down, he really looked like a 20-something young man, too young to be a dad or a four times world champion.

%MCEPASTEBIN%


	7. Chapter 7

Ricciardo could see Seb with that strange look on his face, partly angry partly focused, completely annoyed. But Ric understood the reason behind it, if before it was because of the car and results, now it was because of what Seb said about F1, the engines and the noise.

Ric was surprised at first, he didn't think that Christian would let Seb say such a thing, but then he noticed that Christian was also surprised. It's not that he didn’t agreewith Seb, it was just the way the things were said, Ric couldn't openly support Seb now, he was too new to do so, and if a world champion was getting such negative response to his words, imagine him, he would be crucified.

So now he was surrounded by angry faces, angry face there, angry face here, angry face everywhere, it looked almost like Ferrari.  
Ric looked everywhere to find someone that wasn't angry or in deep thought, so his eyes landed on Antti that was quiet, hidden in his corner. To Ric it was like Antti was trying to become one with the wall, but then, the mechanics were running everywhere and if you stood in the way you would only hinder them, so maybe Antti’s attitude was pretty normal, but Ric could feel the energy and it wasn't good, it had to get better. So he did what he needed to do, he thought of good things and good times, which was quite easy since he was very happy, so Ric full of good vibes walked towards the quiet Finn.  
To Ric, Antti was always a cool guy, funny and smiley too. Ric remembered quite well how Jean-Eric and Antti got along. So he felt kind of sad to see such a free spirit so locked up.

\- Hi!

Ric saw how distracted Antti was, so far into his own mind that the Finn turned his head and smile at him in slow motion. For a second Ric expected to hear a very slowly and distorted voice only to be brought back to reality.

\- Hi Ric! How are you, man? Are you ready to throw away your bad luck and grab what you deserve?

\- Hell yes! It will be different now, I can feel it.

And he did what he knew best, he raised the spirit of the people, everyone except Seb, which passed through them like they were air. Ric just stood there, following Seb wouldn't make sense he would only bother him, but then the silence was broken because Kimi appeared, walking pass them and going right to the Lotus motorhome. Ric could see the mechanics exchanging looks and whispering to each other only to be interrupted by a familiar voice.

\- Let me through, I'm RedBull too!

Jean-Eric was there and making his presence known, so Ric walked to him before he gave up or started a fight, nowadays you never knew.

\- What are you doing here?

Jean put a hand on his chest, making a hurt face and joked.

\- Wow, that hurt! You got promoted to the main team and now you treat me like I'm a nobody. You don't call, don't write.

\- Sorry. It wasn't my intention...

\- We shared a room, a team ... A LIFE TOGETHER!

And Ric could feel the looks later directed at Kimi, were all on him.  
"Thanks, Jean"  
But what was really a surprise was seeing Seb that was almost gone, spare a look at them and kindly smile, just to turn away and disappear again.

\- Can you stop now? I'm at work!

\- So am I! Hehehe I'm only joking. Hey! Where's my lovely ex-trainer?

\- Antti? He is there...

And the Finn disappeared too.  
Ric could feel the Finn changing, a slowly but certain change. Antti was quieter and quieter, he smiled and talked, but he wasn't so open anymore. Like Heikki, like Bottas, like Kimi.

\- He's gone again isn’t he?

\- Yes. Sorry Jean, but he must be very busy.

\- Naah. It's over, I know, it just that I was friends with him. It's strange you know, you meet the guy, he start to be part of your day by day, knows your pains, weakness, and then he isn't there anymore.

\- Well I...

\- You got it easy, Ric, you have a gift of being this open and cheerful person that is cool to be close to, but not everyone is like you, I spend more time with Antti than with my own girlfriend. But now he belongs to Seb.

\- Don't worry, he is probably passing through the same. For all that I’ve noticed, Heikki left a shoe too big for anyone to fit in.

\- Yeah. Anyway, did you see Kimi passing by?

\- Me and everyone else. For such quiet man he creates quite a commotion.

Jean's eyes frantictly looked everywhere, before returning to him with a big smile.

\- Everyone is waiting for a new "Leave me alone, I know what I'm doing" or an "I was having a shit" or even better...

\- "Talk to my ass he is the only one who gives a shit" ?

Dear Lord, from where did Seb came from?  
Ric was certain that he saw Seb leave, now he was back?   
When? Why? How?  
Even worse was seeing Jean-Eric’s poor excuse of a sorry man, he could almost read the French thoughts. "I'm dead! I was joking about Kimi when Seb arrived!"

\- Eeeerrrhhhmm.

Poor Jean, was the only thing that came through Ric's mind.

\- So you decided to join us, Seb?

\- No. I was just passing by, when I heard a very familiar quote ... well ... better get back to work.

Seb was returning to wherever place he silently came from, only to yell on half the way.

\- It's better you two get back to work, you won’t see anything else. Kimi despise making his fights public!

They stayed there exchanging some looks.

\- Yeah, he is right. I will get back, can't let the little Russian get all the attention, can I?

\- Have a nice day!

\- To you too. And if you see Antti ... forget it. Bye!

\- ... bye?

And everything was quite good, until of course, the FIA invitation arrived.  
Apparently Todt wanted to talk personally to Seb about all of his complaints, and with it everyone could see how serious and full of himself the German was.  
Ric must have questioned himself out loud since Antti answered him.

\- If he wants to prove a point, he needs to be sure and confident of his own opinion. We will see how it will end sooner or later.

But still, Ric expected more support from the other drivers. But instead, what he saw were attacks from every corner, from every place, even Kimi didn't defend Seb, and Ric didn’t get why.  
He would throw himself in front of a friend if he saw such thing, he would stand and tell everyone to shut up and stop being hypocrites, even more if he had the kind of power and presence that Kimi had. But the Finn only said that to him, it made no difference and that everyone had the right to have their own opinion.  
What the hell?  
The people can think what they want about him, but Seb was his teammate, and he would help him, so he waited to Kimi pass by, to talk to the Finn.

\- Hi.

And all that Kimi say was "hi" while keep walking, never stopping, the Finn didn't even spare a glance at him. So without thinking Ric grabbed his arm and forcefully spun him around. Kimi's face made him regret such action, he released Kimi's arm so fast, as if it was burning him.

\- What!?

\- Why?

And Kimi ignored him, walking even faster.

\- Why aren't you saying anything to help Seb?

Kimi raised one eyebrow at him, gave a long sigh, and ignored him completely.

\- Friends are supposed to help each other! You know that the FIA is angry with him? Everyone is attacking him, and you won’t do anything?

\- No. He is my adversary, why would I help him?

\- Be...be...cause he is your friend? ... or I thought so.

\- You're young. I get why you're confused. So I will give you one advice, you want Seb to respect you... or even better ... really like you?

\- Yes! It's good to have a good relationship with your teammate.

He could hear Kimi’s silent ironic laugh.

\- Suuure. So, like I said, don't treat Seb like someone who needs help from you or anyone else.

\- But ...

\- If Seb needs your help he will tell you. If he doesn’t, it won’t matter if you agreed with him or not. This is F1, you should only care about yourself.

Ric stayed quiet while Kimi walked away without leaving any room for him to keep talking. He knew about what Kimi said, Mark had warned him about it too, it's not Toro Rosso anymore, and despite being new, he was from the RedBull young drivers program, he knew quite well about the "care only about himself" thing. But the people there seemed to forget about the power of a smile, of a kind gesture, of having someone owing you something.

But despite it all, here they were, he managed a third place in the grid, and Seb only the eleventh.  
What Ric found unexpected, was how cool and collected Seb was, and he didn’t think it was only him, it was like everyone was waiting for a bomb to explode, but nothing happened.

Kind of frustrating, a very nasty part of him thought.

But like Kimi and Mark had said, he should care about himself, so what he needed was a recovery race.  
"Thanks Stewarts!"  
Ric never doubted himself, he knew that he could do it, make it possible, and it was even better to see that everyone was kind of cheering for him, Ric knew that part of it was for entirely wrong reasons, but a cheer was a cheer and he wasn't going to complain about it.  
What he couldn't grasp was how much the public disliked Seb, Ric was almost sorry for him. Only to catch himself in the middle of his thoughts...

Sorry for Seb? Why should he feel sorry for him?

The German got four world championships, had a team all to himself for years, it was about time for Seb to feel the pressure of a teammate that could beat him.   
But then again, it wasn't like him, Ric sometimes felt that he was slowly becoming like the most experienced drivers, and he didn't want that for himself, to him it was like they had lost something on the way to success.  
Ric wanted to be different, he would be different.  
But when he finished in front of Seb, his feelings were a mix of pride, happiness, and vengeance.

Vengeance from Seb? Why?

Ric could understand why he felt that way and he didn't like it, but life appeared to want to show him what was like to be like this. On his way back he passed by Fernando, happy with a ninth place, because he beat the "savior of the nation" again.  
It's not like he didn't understand Fernando, because he did, but still he didn't want that for himself.

Later on the same day, he met up with Sebastian for team debrief aboutwas about to happen, so he got a chance to talk to his teammate.  
Ric then saw Antti again, the man was more and more absent, it wasn't like this with Jean-Eric, but who was he to question it. He got close to Antti, and tried to start a conversation.

\- So, it's okay to try to talk with him?

\- Seb? Why wouldn’t it be?

\- I don't know, you know, the way the things are I wouldn’t be happy about it.

\- Don't worry, for all I know this wasn't the first time. Maybe it would do him good if you talked to him.

Ric couldn't help but smile, Antti who spent most of his time with Seb, was telling him to talk to the German, maybe it was what Seb had asked or mentioned to him.

\- ... and Ric.

\- Yeah.

\- Congratulations!

\- Thanks, man.

Seb arrived almost immediately, giving Antti a glass of something.

\- Oh! Hello Ric, I didn't know you were already here or I would have brought one to you too.  
\- There's no need, thanks Seb.

But Ric could see something in Antti eyes, the Finn was screaming "you little liar" to Seb, but Ric didn't want to bother himself with such things.

\- Well, I'm going, hope you guys receive good news. Bye Ric, till tomorrow Seb.

\- Bye!

\- Bye Antti!

And that was when Ric felt like he was in high school again, sitting next to a girl, without knowing what to say.  
But, then again, thinking about Sebastian as a girl even if hypothetically was a scary thought, Seb would be a hell of an ugly woman...

\- What are you smiling about?

\- What?! Oh, it's nothing.

And the silence returned to accompany them.

\- Actually, there is something I wanted to ask you.

\- Shoot.

\- How do you cope with it? With everyone pointing fingers at you.

\- I win and point a finger at them.

Seb's smile was cheerful but also full of malice, Ric could only think that Seb must feel the same feeling of vengeance that he felt not long ago.

\- But it’s not all, I hate to admit it, but I got used to it. Since the beginning it was this way, I had to toughen up, or I wouldn’t be where I am.

That's when Ric started to understand, despite many of them being assholes...

\- You aren’t alone...

\- No... I never was, and never will be. My personal life is strong as a wall, impenetrable to anyone else, and here ...

\- ... here?

\- ... Here I got Christian, Kimi, Tommi then later Heikki. People that I trust.

\- And me? You don't trust me, Seb?

\- No. And you shouldn't trust me either.

Oooh God!   
That was what Mark told him, Seb is a manipulative man ...

\- But I play fair. I don't and won't stab anyone in the back, I do it face to face. So as long as we are being fair everything should be alright.

\- But if I tried to do something you judge wrong...

\- You will see me coming and still wouldn't be able to run away.

\- Why are you doing this?

\- I'm being fair to you, Ric. I assure you that it's not something the drivers tend to do. Or do you think that Fernando will warn Kimi, or that Rosberg will warn Lewis? No ... they pull the carpet the other is on if it brings them the trophy.

\- I think you're seeing only the bad side of the people. Not everyone is like this.

\- No, they aren't, not until life pushes them, and from what I see you have a long career in F1 ... sooner or later this moment will come to you too.

\- And I will stay true to myself...

\- I really hope so, Ric, I really do.

Seb smiled at him the entire time, but his speech was a very serious one, Ric couldn't understand the reason behind it, why here? Why now?  
Was Seb warning him that he would retaliate, or he was just trying to give him a life lesson?  
Ric couldn’t finish his thoughts as Christian finally appeared.

\- Come on boys. We have some things to discuss.

What really surprised him was who was with Christian. Kimi fucking Raikkonen.  
Okay... Wasn’t this supposed to be an official meeting? Kimi was from an adversary team, he shouldn't be there with them.

\- Hello Seb ... Hello Daniel.

\- You didn't tell me you're here!

\- If I had told you, you would be talking to me and I wouldn't have talked to Christian.

Ric simply stared as the two drivers entered in their own world and forgot the rest of them. But he still didn't understand why Kimi was there, how he was allowed there, if RedBull didn’t mind, ok, he could understand that, but Ferrari would throw a fit, wouldn’t they?

\- Such a calm man. It's a shame he probably won’t stay in F1 for much longer.

Ric looked at Christian with surprise.

\- Why not?

\- Age? Back? Life? No one can stay forever in a sport, eventually you will stop being competitive.

\- That's why he is here?

\- I know it's strange, but from time to time even in a sport like this, so full of money and interests, you find people that you can rely on, that support you, point you in the right direction, be there in the good and bad times. Seb found that person, I hope you find yours too.

Ric stayed there mouth open, trying to digest the information.   
He then looked at Seb, smiling and playfully punching Kimi. That was the same person that told him about back stabbing and trust issues.

So who was being sincere?

Seb?

Christian?

Kimi?

Or maybe it was himself.

What was happening to him?

He was so happy and satisfied, and now he all he had were doubts in his mind, he was doubting the people he worked with. That wasn’t him. He wasn't like this.   
Or maybe it was Seb? If so, how could he let himself be manipulated so easily?  
Oh God he really was becoming paranoid!  
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, think about happy things.  
But Ric was interrupted by Kimi snapping his fingers at his face, as if to wake him from a trance.   
Wait a minute, for how long had he been there looking at nothing?

\- You should go.

Ric looked at Christian's annoyed expression and to Seb's happy one, then found himself face to face with Kimi, one raised eyebrow and looking at him like he was a lost puppy.

\- Oh...ah...Ok, I'm coming.


End file.
